DISCLAIMER: I am well aware that some people have genuine phobias - I'm not discussing those with genuine phobias in this article.

DISCLAIMER #2: This article is (mostly) tongue in cheek. Of course I don't actually say most of these things to people at shows - I'm there to represent rats and the rat club, and to promote them as amazing pets.

As rat owners, we've all come across them: the "ewww"s, the "eek, their tails!" and the, "didn't they spread the plague?!"

If you've been lucky enough to do rat PR at a large multi-fancy event, you might also have seen grown men making a beeline for a tent, hall, or area which features a sign saying "RATS" above it. These people are bizarre but they're also my favourite "trolls" because, upon losing the ability to read a four-letter word, they usually proceed to do one of a few things:

• Stand around muttering "gross, disgusting, eww" to their mates.
• Approach the rat area and declare, loudly, that, "my dog can catch those", or, "I've got a shovel, I can sort those out for you."

I used to get quite upset about these ignorant remarks - but that's the thing! They're ignorant. Willfully ignorant, considering they've usually gone out of their way to not only approach the rat PR area but also to make a big fuss about it.

These days I get less offended - I'm more likely to pity them, because they don't have the joy of rats in their lives; because their misguided notions might mean their children never get to have the joy of rats in their lives; because they, frankly, look extremely silly.

I'm going to show you some of the responses I've considered giving these dramatic adult humans in recent years. Buckle up, you're in for a wild ride...

"Ohmygod ohmygod they're so creepy!"

Inward response: "Oh bless, is someone frightened of the 500g animal who's currently asleep?"

Outward response: "Actually, they're very engaging, interactive pets 🙂"

"The TAILS!"

Inward response: "Well what else would they use to strangle you?"

Outward response: "They use their tails for thermoregulation and balance! They don't feel slimy, they're actually sort of soft."

"Don't they carry the plague?"